cheers then

Right you cone-toed wastrel, this has never happened to me before
so I'm guessing it's entirely your fault.

The right shoe is wonderful. It feels as natural as a baby in the
womb. My foot feels naked without it. Thank you for the right shoe.

But for some reason, the left shoe is a puckered vanishing point
of squeezy torment. I feel like a fashionably deformed Chinese
girl every time I slide my poor crunched toes into its
ridiculously underwhelming cavity. Plenty of room round the ankle,
vice-like pressure round the tip. Why is this? Is it me? Or were
both shoes originally like this, with the right one eventually
expanding to accommodate your proper foot while the left one
stayed contentedly abnormal around your polio-ridden screwdriver
of a left?

Thanks again.